If you have no interest in the long tale, feel free to skip this post! This is as much for me as for those who are interested.
It all began 4 days before he was born (yes, four). I was 35 weeks and 5 days pregnant, certainly more pregnant than ever before! I had a regularly scheduled OB visit and NST (non stress test) on Friday, October 3rd. My appointment was a little later than they'd usually been, at 10 am, so I'd prearranged for a friend to pick up Emmy and I would meet them on the playground as soon as possible. I had a meeting after school, as did my friend, so we'd packed lunches and planned for the girls to have a picnic before our meeting. It was shaping up to be a great day!
That morning my blood pressure had been great, around 118/82 (or something like that). When the checked it at my NST it was a big higher than I'd expected, around 150/100, so higher, but not anything super concerning. Pickled Peaches was pretty cooperative and I was soon heading in to see the OB.
She took my BP again and I have no idea what it was but her eyes bugged out of her head a bit. This was not my favorite nurse, so her reactions always annoyed me. She went trotting off to find the doctor, asking me if I had plans that afternoon (I said yes, I had a meeting) and suggesting I might cancel them. At this point the panic began to build. My mother had just booked a flight for Oct. 24th 2 days prior. Things had been looking good. I had a plan! I had a meeting in a couple of hours I needed to attend! This could not be happening.
Dr. L. came in (my favorite doc) and I just knew that he was going to send me home. He took my BP himself and it was 160/120. WHAT? It had never been that high. But just 2 days earlier my preeclampsia labs showed nothing concerning and the standard urine screen they did in the office that morning showed no significant amounts of protein (which would indicate pre-e). Dr. L wanted to send me home to do a 24 hour urine collection and I really wanted that, too. But he called the doc on call, Dr. A, and he is more cautious and wanted me sent over to triage just to be watched for awhile. Sigh. So I went. During all of this I'd emailed Charles and told him he needed to come right away, I thought at the very least he would need to get Emmy from school. Fortunately he saw my email right away (he can't have his cell phone at work) and responded that he was packing up and coming right over.
So off to triage I went. More BP monitoring, lab work, baby monitoring (baby was looking good still, as usual). Charles showed up shortly after I arrived. The nurse, her name was Beth, was lovely and asked who my doula was and when I said her name she exclaimed "I LOVE her!" I took this as a good sign. Turns out my doula had interned with her as a nursing student. After a couple of hours, Dr. A came in. He was concerned I was developing Preeclampsia and wanted to go head and admit me. I think in my gut I knew that things were ok, but I didn't want to risk it. I had a lot of doubts, couldn't I just go home and see? I was having no symptoms, and I promised I'd come back if I did! But Dr. A was not to be swayed, and we consented to being admitted and starting the induction process. I honestly still wonder deep down if I'd waited a few days if things would have been ok and we would not have wound up where we ultimately did, but even my doula assured me that she was not surprised they wanted to induce considering what my BP had been earlier in the morning.
So, we headed to a room. A new nurse had come in to take care of me. She was just on call and usually worked at the north location, but they were super busy that day. Basically she was just there to take care of me for a few hours until shift change, so I had her undivided attention. She stayed with me while all the addmitting paperwork was done, IV was placed (in a horrible spot) and magnesium sulfate was started. They give you the magnesium because it increases your seizure threshold, which is a concern if you are preeclamptic. But it also is what is given to women who are having preterm contractions so you can see where this might be headed...
Meanwhile, I should say thank goodness for good friends. Fortunately, since I'd arranged for Kathrine to get Emmy and take her to the playground in case I was late, that was covered for a bit. Another friend, who we had just met and started carpooling to school with the week before, was already at school for her daughter's field trip offered to pick Emmy up from the playground and keep her that afternoon. She'd have kept her all weekend if I needed her to, which was so awesome. But, since it was the weekend, Karen and Tanner would be around and of course they were ready to jump in and take Emmy and Rags. My mom canceled her flight she'd booked and found a flight for the next day arriving at 7 pm. Karen offered to pick Mom up at the airport and get Emmy and Rags home with her. She also offered to meet Charles at our house to bring him back to the hospital so we only had one car there and mom would have a car. So after I was admitted, he headed home to pick up my bag, pack the last minute items, gather what he needed, and pack Emmy a bag. He picked her up from Lauren and told her Mommy was having the baby soon. Then Karen brought him back to me with our bags and most importantly: dinner.
Around 5 pm Dr. A came in to place a foley bulb. I'd had one of these with Sara Hawley and it was extremely painful to place at that time. I'd told Dr. L at some point about that and he was surprised. But this time I found out why. I'm a lucky one with a trumpet shaped cervix that is very high up. After 2 failed attempts to place it, he had to grab it and pull it forward (my cervix) to get the bulb placed all the way in and inflated. He told me he'd not had to do that in 6 years and I told him sarcastically I was glad I could help keep those skills honed. OUCH.
The shift change brought a new nurse named Stevi whom I LOVED. (Honestly, I had great experiences with all my nurses there). Around 9 or 9:30 when she was in to check on me, I told her that the string taped to my leg attached to the foley bulb felt loose (they'd told me it should always feel taught) so she went to check it and when she tugged it came out. Hooray! When the bulb comes out on it's own, you should be about 4 cm dilated. I was thrilled! With SH when the foley came out, she was born just a few hours later. I thought, GREAT, this is going to move so much faster! Oh how wrong I was. My cervix was still really thick (it thins out as you get closer to delivering, this is what the refer to when they say you are X% effaced) so I had a long way to go.
Pitocin was started and we settled down and tried to sleep. By the next morning, things were still slow. I'd turned down the offer for Ambien, which was a mistake. It was so hard to sleep. I was very frustrated because the baby kept moving off the monitors. They were slowly increasing the Pitocin. Because I'd had a previous C-section, they have to move it up slowly and also can only go up to a 20 because of the risk of uterine rupture. My BP was higher than normal, but usually was ok. Around mid day/early afternoon each day it would go up, so they would give me an additional medicine and then it would go back down.
Around 3 pm that day with little progress and I was maxed out at 20 of Pitocin, they turned it off and I took a 2 hour break. I was able to get up and move around some and this is when we learned that I was able to move around well on the magnesium sulfate (people can get very disoriented on it and it did make me feel sort of like I'd had a couple of glasses of wine, is the best way I can describe it). This ultimately proved to be good news for later on. The nurses (I had 3 this day shift because of some weird scheduling issues, but they were all nice and apologetic for the frequent changes that day) told me that the pitocin and the magnesium were working against each other, obviously. Frustrating. Dr. A kept saying "if I could only get your water broken!" Every time they checked me, I was still around a 4 and Pickled Peaches was just up high enough that he was not putting enough pressure for the doctor to be be able to rupture my membranes. If he could do that, then he could insert an internal monitor to watch the contractions and increase the pitocin beyond 20. But baby was just stubborn. I was convinced it was because he wanted to wait until he was 36 weeks.
All along, I'd been texting with my doula, Katie, keeping her up to date. By mid afternoon on Saturday, I was feeling frustrated and just needed to talk to her in person. I asked if she could come after dinner for a couple of hours. I needed her expert opinion and support. I needed to know I was doing everything I could. Her arrival that evening made me feel a lot better. I can't say enough how grateful I am for her support, everyone hire a doula!
That night Stevi was back and I said yes to the Ambien so I managed to sleep for about 5 hours or so. The next morning, Sunday, I was still stuck at around 4 cm with not much progress. There was nothing more to do than to wait. I do have to say that this day brought Joy into my life. She was one of my favorite nurses and she came in, pulled up a chair and sat down and said "ok, tell me your story, what was your birth plan and how'd we get here." I was floored, and so was Katie (she'd come back that morning to spend the day with me). I'd heard some not positive stories of nurses not being supportive of natural birthing plans and such, to have someone so engaged and asking me how she could advocate on my behalf with the doctor was refreshing and encouraging.
I have not mentioned this yet, but my birth plan was a Hypnobirth. No, I'm not crazy and yes, I intended not to have any drugs. I'd used Hypnobirthing with Sara Hawley and despite having the epidural (that I'm not sure worked all that well for me) I used it a great deal and birth breathed her (rather than pushing) into this world and it was a beautiful experience, one I'm very grateful for. So we'd met back up with Katie during this pregnancy to get a refresher course in and I was confident I could do this!
Sunday midday I was getting frustrated. Dr. A was in and I was rather emotional with him. I knew from Joy that he was in a bad mood, and had not been happy that they were still having trouble keeping the baby and my contractions on the monitor. He'd fussed at Joy, but she assured me that was about her, not me, and she was there to deflect his anger. When he did come in, I told him honestly that I needed this to work. My body had failed me in so many ways in carrying and birthing my babies, I needed this VBAC. I wanted this VBAC. I think this was good, he'd never pushed me towards a C-section, but both Joy and Katie told me that my being so honest was good.
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| Sun. night on the birthing ball, trying to move baby down! |
But I was still getting more and more frustrated that I wouldn't progress. I turned on my music (I learned with SH's birth that listening to choral music was the best way I got into my deepest relaxation/hypnosis) and decided to just check out. Y'all, I swear I felt like I had a spiritual experience. I "went away" for a couple of hours, working through some increasingly intense contractions. The music was really what I needed, the words of the familiar pieces we'd sung with St. John sometimes brought tears to my eyes. I really thought I was going to come out of this having made great progress and I was going to have a baby soon! Sadly, when I did come back to the room and was checked again, I'd only progressed a little bit, I think I'd thinned out some. That was progress enough, though, that they decided to let me up to move around some and sit on the birthing ball and give me hope for a couple of hours. We watched a story on 60 Minutes about Dr. Pilley, a retired Wofford prof, and the dog he'd trained to identify over 1000 objects by name. We chatted. I texted my close girlfriends updates. I tried to stay positive.
But, by that night around 9, Dr. A checked me and still no further. I was so frustrated and tired. I was done. I told him tearfully I would consent to a C-section. He agreed, and he was worried that my uterus wasn't responding to that much pitocin, he wanted to give it a rest. Instead of doing a C-section right then, he suggested we wait and let Dr. H do it the next morning when she came on. I asked if I could take a shower and eat something and he said for sure. We discussed if I could have skin to skin in the OR and he said he wasn't aware there was any policy against it, so that made me feel much better. He and the nurses also said we could ask the anesthesiologist if Katie could come into the OR with us (it would be their call). So while I was sad and disappointed, I also had some things that were important to me most likely happening. I felt like I was a part of the deciions and it was not forced on me. We notified our friends and family that we'd be having a baby around 9:30 the next morning. I got my glorious shower and ate a super late dinner. Kayla was my nurse that night and she made preparations for me to have the procedure.
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| Joy's hilarious note on the door after my water was broken. |
The next morning Katie arrived bright and early. Charles had showered the night before and changed into a button up shirt that was pink and blue. Joy was back as my nurse. She said the anesthesiologist who was on call was super nice and probably would let Katie go in with us. We were having a baby! I sat there updating my email list (it had been on my to do list for that week) so we could send out pictures when Pickled Peaches arrived. Dr. H. came in around 8:30. I'd met her once when I was pregnant with SH when I'd had a growth scan. I didn't know her well, but I instantly liked her this day. She said "do you mind if I check you?" and I consented. As she did she said "I think I can feel your bag of water, do you want me to break it?" and then to Joy (who was back for the day, yay!) she said "would you hand me the hook" and she took the thing they use to rupture membranes and gush, there went my water. WHAT? Charles and Katie and I looked at each other in shock. We felt like this was the holy grail, this is what we'd been hoping and waiting for since Friday! Dr. H said the easiest thing for her was to take me in and section me then, but she wanted this VBAC for me if I wanted it. Again, so thrilled to have such supportive doctors! Not sure what happened overnight, but baby had moved down enough to make some progress so I was hopeful again.
Now that my membranes were ruptured, they could get an internal monitor in and up the pitocin beyond 20. This also made monitoring generally easier because they just had to keep the baby on the monitor.
I should say, that this whole time, PP looked great. If there had ever been any concern about how he was doing, we'd have gone in to surgery right away. He did have hiccups like 3 times a day, which was pretty funny. Poor kid!
Sunday progressed, Katie had come prepared for a short stay, not more intense labor, so she'd left a lot of her supplies at home, but that was ok! We were doing this! But once the pitocin got up to a 20 and they kept going, whoa. Immediately things got more intense.
I will say, I had my medical records from my labor and delivery with SH. First of all, in SC they gave me something to soften my cervix first. Katie said she thinks CO does a disservice to moms by not using anything, but oh well, nothing I could do about this. I had that in for 12 hours, and then the foley bulb was placed. It was in for almost 24 hours, but when it came out, I was already like 70% effaced. Here, when the bulb came out, I was barely thinned out. (I did not realize all this at 9 pm on Friday night when I was all excited that the bulb was out). Also, with SH, they never had to turn the Pitocin up beyond a 10. I'd already been at a 20 for several hours Saturday, then again some of Saturday night and all day Sunday. And now we were going beyond that.
Sunday late afternoon and evening were in a word, painful. I mean, childbirth is never easy but everyone says Pitocin contractions are no joke, and indeed, they are not. Yes still through it all, I wasn't progressing much. I'd made it to may be a 5 by the time Joy left and Kayla came back on at 7 pm. I'd been moving around more, doing all I could. About 1:15 am she checked me and said I was a stretchy 5 or 6, baby just wasn't moving down to put the pressure on my cervix and dilate me fulling. If he could, she was certain it would go quickly. We decided to give it 2 hours. We tried everything. Every position Katie knew to try. Laying on my side with a leg over the "peanut" ball then flipping over to the other side, hands and knees, sitting on the birthing ball, pulling up on my belly during surges (contractions) with a sheet to give baby room to move down. Everything. As Katie said, we left no stone unturned, no membrane unruptured throughout this whole process. I mean, I tried everything. The Pitocin was at a 28. Those were an intense couple of hours. I can't say enough how grateful I am for a supportive husband and a supportive doula.
Around 3:15 or 3:30 am Kayla came in and still I was a stretchy 5-6. And I looked at her and tearfully told her to turn it off. I couldn't do it anymore. I was ready for the C-section. So she called Dr. Hollard and things moved pretty quickly. The anesthesiologist came in. He said "I've been hearing about you since Sunday!" Ha! I instantly liked him and he was completely fine with both the skin to skin after delivery and letting Katie come in with us. She stuck one of my shirts in her pocket so that if for any reason we had to be separated, Charles could take the shirt and have something that smelled like me to hold with baby and she would stay with me. We headed into the OR sometime after 4 am. I had to go in first. They let me keep on the Pretty Pusher L&D gown I'd been wearing, which was awesome (highly recommend these for any pregnant mama, it is fabulous and way more comfortable than a hospital gown and perfectly designed for the experience). The OR staff was pleasant and nothing was rushed. Everyone seemed in a good mood despite the ungodly hour. I had the spinal (yes, I went through all that Pitocin with no pain killers!) and they started getting me ready. I didn't realize it, but Charles said they were already cutting me open when he and Katie were brought in (with Emmy my doc was adamant that he be seated before she started and he could not look, she'd had too many dads pass out).
Dr. H told me as she was opening me up that she was glad no one else was going back in there (we'd decided we were done so we'd consented to a tubal ligation) because I had a lot of scar tissue. It took her a couple of minutes to work through that, but soon we heard her say "it's a Matthew!"It was 4:42 am on Tuesday, October 7, 2014. A moment I'll never forget.
We'd told her that if it was a boy, his name would be Matthew, and if it was a girl, it would be Lena. She asked before we went into the OR if we wanted her to say "it's a boy/it's a girl" or "it's a Matthew, it's a Lena" and we told her she could decide.
When I heard her say Matthew I squawked "It's a BOY???!!?" I was shocked! I was convinced that it was a girl! Shockingly, I don't remember crying much. Dr. H held him up for me to see. He was all squishy and cute. She even said several times "man he's cute!" I heard him crying and they spent just a couple of minutes checking him out, weighing him, etc. and then brought him over to me. The Pretty Pusher gown had a halter tie so I could easily take that down and he was placed on my chest. Charles helped hold him on me and I kissed him and kissed him. I know there were tears in my eyes at this point.
Once Dr. H was done closing, M went to the bassinet to get wheeled to my room and I was right behind him. Since I'd been on magnesium sulfate, I had to remain on the L&D floor for 24 hours, so I went back to the room I'd been in for so many days. Frankly, this was nice. Kayla was still there for a couple more hours. All our stuff was there. The baby nurses were in checking him out for a few minutes, and then I was able to hold him and let him nurse for the first time. Such a different and wonderful experience from Emmy to have my baby with me the whole time. He latched right on (breast feeding, as you know if you've read my blog is super important to me). Because he was 36 weeks they had to monitor his blood sugar, but he was doing well. 5 lbs 12 oz, 20 inches of baby boy. (Although we think they mismeasured him, he was only 18.5 at his first check up and steadily grew. 20 inches is LONG I think he would have looked super scrawny if he'd really been 20 inches.)
Katie left after a while, we were so grateful for her time. She'd been texting with me through SH's labor and birth, and I know she cried tears of joy to be with me to welcome Matthew.
We'd decided to let Emmy be the first to know if she had a brother or sister, so we let folks know that baby was safely here, but waited til she arrived to share his gender and name. Charles had called my mom when we got back to the room to tell them to come on. Mom and Emmy arrived just before 8 and we were able to tell her she had a little brother. She was just so excited to have a baby anything. (It's hard waiting when you're 5!) Mom cried. She called Dad and he was silent for a minute when she told him his name (my dad is Matthew).
So, there is Matthew's long, long birth story. And he was worth every moment of it.
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| So much hair! |
The biggest news is: she lost her first tooth. It happened just a few weeks ago, on April 11th, actually. The night before she'd showed me how wiggly it was and I could see the permanent tooth already growing in. Sure enough, the next day during soccer she came running over and handed it to us. I could not believe it, it was only wiggly for about 10 days! Already she has another one that is slightly wiggly, so we are on tooth watch again.
